little update

I got kind of sad last night realizing that I never kept a journal of anything of this pregnancy. I was too scared that it wouldn’t work out. Now I wish I knew when Mr H first felt her kick or when you could first see the nightly earthquakes she produces through my belly. So here’s my lame ass attempt at chronicling the next 2 (or 3 weeks I guess).

Had my first internal where my hopes were up yesterday. I did get one at 29 weeks when I was experiencing pretty intense braxton hicks, but then I wanted to hear that nothing was going on. Yesterday I really wanted to have a good reason for constantly feeling like someone was thrusting a knife into my who-ha and twisting it around for sport. I wake up each morning feeling like I’ve been in a gang bang or something. But nope, only 50% effaced and fingertip dilated. And I think the only reason he said fingertip is that he thought I might cry. He did end the appointment telling me that he was doc on call for the long weekend and that someone has to be the lucky one that goes early….but I’m not counting on it.

Which is a good thing, since my mom is coming over on Monday to cook and freeze things with me. We’re making meatballs (my grandpa is the reason I am a meatball snob, he made the best meatballs ever and it is the only recipe I have that I will not sure, I will only eat homemade, everything else is crap), probably a few kinds of sauce, and maybe soup or something. That means the project for the next 2 days is to eat everything else that is in the freezer…and there’s a lot of yummy ice creams!!! Sure is hard being me, huh!?!?

Hope everyone has a wonderful 3 day weekend!! My brother and wife got a new puppy yesterday so we’re headed over there in a few. So excited to play with him!

August 30, 2008. Uncategorized. 9 comments.

it’s baaacck

morning sickness. Completely sucks. Since last Saturday I’ve been sick each morning. Doc says just to make sure I don’t get too dehydrated. It was reassuring in the beginning, now it is just annoying. It is hard to puke or dry heave with a this basketball in the way.

But enough complaining. Pretty much all is done now. We’ll be installing the car seat tomorrow night and getting it checked thursday or saturday. Nursery is pretty much good except for little finishing touches. But we’ve got all the necessities if she should decide to make an early appearance. The braxton hicks have picked up in intensity and twice in the middle of the night I think I had a real one. She’s definitely dropped because I can breathe again, just can’t walk or drink more than a few ounces of water.

That’s all the news. School started yesterday so my butt is officially kicked. I’m exhausted. Heading to bed nice and early tonight.

and yes, I promise pictures soon

August 27, 2008. Uncategorized. 10 comments.

Contents of my grocery cart

I should have taken a picture. In my basket were: breast pads, maxi pads, and….B.en and Jerr.y’s chocolate fudge brownie. Yum! I went with the self-scan for checkout. I did not need some cashier discussing me in the break room later on.

Thanks for all your sweet comments. Nice to know that my shopping trip last week paid off! I love that shirt I was wearing. Going to have to find a few more times to fit it in.

The shower was beautiful. My sis-in-law, cousin, and college friend threw it and they did an amazing job! And we got so much stuff! Everyone was so amazingly generous. It was wonderful to have so many people I love there celebrating little Q.

Speaking of stuff, my friend also filled her car with all of her leftover “necessities” she is giving to us. Generous yes but she has a very liberal version of necessity. I mentioned that we were going the minimalist route, not only because we don’t have a ton of space but also because I feel very strongly that an infant does not need cashmere, or a bouncy seat with an ip.od hook-up, etc, etc. I also told her some things we already had that other people had given us. Her necessities included 2 bouncy seats (told her we already had one for our house and one for my mom), a swing (told her we didn’t have room), a travel swing (really???), dry clean only baby clothes (what??) and some other ridiculous things. And in case you were wondering, she lives in a very wealthy Connecticut suburb. Makes sense now, right?

The day after the shower my cousin, who is a photojournalist but does other photography on the side, took some maternity pictures. I was against the idea of them at first but realized that I want some memory of this. And I would have not been comfortable being bare-bellied in front of anyone else. They came out amazing, still not sure if I’ll have the guts to post any other them or not though. If any of you FL ladies (she lives around T.ampa) are interested, she really is fantastic.

Saturday is a big milestone….full term, 37 weeks! I’ve been making a conscious effort to enjoy the last few weeks. I’m afraid I’m going to resent the fact that I was so scared in the beginning and kept rushing it along. I’m also afraid that she’s going to come before we’re ready! I still haven’t packed a bag, haven’t finished buying everything, our to do list is VERY long. So long that I broke it down into deadlines. Things that have to be done before she comes and things that can wait. Because otherwise it was way too overwhelming.

Had my 37 week appt today. Was negative for the group B strep, for some reason this test didn’t even bother me and was probably the only thing I didn’t worry about this entire time. I’m at the point that I just want her to come out healthy, if that meant I had to be on antibiotics beforehand, so be it. Only thing that upset me at the appointment was that on the scale, they almost had to move the big one on the bottom over a notch. Mr H so did not get why this made me upset and gave me the whole, it’s the baby, you’ll lose the weight speech. Rationally, I get all that, but there is something about jumping into that next category that upsets me. Also because I don’t only have the pregnancy weight to lose (26 lbs so far) but also the 30 infertility pounds. Those are really the kicker! So of course, since I’m bummed about the numbers on the scale, what do I do….go to the store to buy boob pads and ice cream!!! Very good choice, right??

August 21, 2008. Uncategorized. 13 comments.

exhausted

Had a fantastic weekend with family and friends. Promise to post more later but am slowly going through all of this stuff. It looks like a baby store threw up all over our house.

Here’s one pic from the party that passed my inspection 😉

Yes, I am large and in charge! (and sitting with really bad posture, no wonder my back hurts all the time)

August 17, 2008. Uncategorized. 15 comments.

oops

Sorry it’s been almost 2 weeks since my last update. And thanks to those who checked in. Nothing is going on…just the normal, still working 2 jobs and being crazy swollen and tired. I have been uber productive at work the last two weeks (I think that is where all of my nesting energy has been going) and am training in my replacement at my other job so by the time I get home, all I do is shove something in my face that I hope doesn’t give me heartburn and lay down.

Had my 36 week appointment today. I can not believe we’re down to 4 weeks left! Everything’s still looking good. Even though I’m swollen beyond believe (it actually hurts to walk by the end of the day), doc said there’s nothing to worry about. The Braxton hicks are picking up in intensity but again, they say that’s normal. And to drink more…but I’m already at about 100 ounces per day, and I refuse to make any more bathroom trips than that.

My shower is tomorrow, really excited for that. Mostly just because I want to have everything set up, organized, and ready to go. And then a work shower next Friday. That’s usually a nice big gift card, which will be good to get anything else we need. Then I guess it’s hurry up and wait…

August 15, 2008. Uncategorized. 8 comments.

boring and don’t know anything

First off, I can not access both blogger and b.logspot at work again so I again have procrastination tools. It was a rough few days for a while there.

Had another boring OB appointment on Friday. I do like boring appointments but sometimes I wonder what the point is. This time I had a list of questions, even though I knew every symptom I have is normal, I just wanted to take up a little of his time. Even with all my questions, I’d say the appointment was under 5 minutes. But I definitely don’t want drama…no drama at all. I did ask if I’d ever get another ultrasound and he the answer was no. Little bummed about that. I’d love to sneak a peak, I’m so curious what she looks like!

Still pretty much in denial about everything that needs to get done. Apparently I should have a bag packed, diapers bought, clothes washed, and all that stuff…but I don’t. I still can’t fathom bringing home a real life baby in 6 weeks.

Thought alot about the whole birth plan thing. Found some crazy ones (one person specified what playlist she wanted at certain points in the labor…how insane is that!!!). I decided that all I care about is a healthy baby and however that needs to happen I’m fine with. Conception certainly wasn’t what I thought it would be and I got over that (well, sort of). I just don’t want to go in with any expectations. And, I never went to med school, so really, who the hell am I to make demands about any of this? Apparently I don’t even know how to get myself knocked up…why on earth would I think I knew anything about delivering a baby!?!?

Not a very interesting post, sorry…it’s all about how I’m boring and don’t know anything…lovely right??

August 5, 2008. Uncategorized. 10 comments.

What a year

Wow is all I can say. I remember how scared I was writing my first post last year, on the eve of my HSG. While I said originally that all I wanted to do was have a journal for myself, I was still terribly scared about mean comments and just generally being out there for the whole world to see. I felt incredibly alone, entering a world that I did not know. Almost like being in a completely foreign country without a guidebook, not knowing the language, customs, or what to do. I remember going to my first TOOTPU gathering and leaving there saying, “wow, they were all normal” And realizing that made me normal too. So instead of being alone and scared, I stumbled upon an amazingly strong group of women, without whom I would not have a shred of sanity left. I have been so fortunate to form some wonderful friendships, both IRL and in my laptop. So thanks to all of you.

And now for my pseudo-devastating news of the day….blogger has been blocked at my work. I can no longer click through to read anyone’s blogs during the day. How am I going to take my mental health breaks during the day?? Or congratulate someone when they get their second line or their match? Or hug them when it doesn’t work out? Totally sucks.

I’m not in half as snarly a mood as I was yesterday so this will be a much more even kneeled post, with far less four letter words. Went for another walk today, that’s 3 times in 3 days! Go me! And tomorrow is the last day of summer session at school. Which means that even though I still have to go to work on Monday, there will be no students there and only about 1/4 of the staff. Much more peaceful. And I can flex my time a little so I can sleep in (yeah!)

Dr’s appt tomorrow morning, here’s hoping I didn’t put on another 7 pounds in 14 days like last time! I did spend some quality time with my guys Ben and J.erry earlier in the week. They are just such good friends to me!

Thanks again to all of you who listen…I hope you know just how much it is appreciated

August 1, 2008. Uncategorized. 18 comments.