Two years ago today

I’m struggling with what to call today.  Two years ago today was the IUI that brought me Sweetness.  Two years ago I was sitting in a waiting room, trying not to cry at the 3 pre-schoolers running around and playing.  I get that it was a Saturday 2 days before Christmas so child care is tough to find but really 3….they couldn’t have all played outside or something???)  In that waiting room I was thinking about the next step meeting (IVF consult) my RE told me to schedule if this didn’t work out.  I was thinking about the fact that Mr H and I were not on the same page at all about our next steps.  I was thinking that if my mom made one more comment about Christmas being for the kids I might actually hurt her.  I was thinking of the promise I had made to myself back in Christmas 06.  And then when we got called back, I was thinking that I just wanted my dr to make eye contact with me.  That so far, I hadn’t met any insensitive drs at my clinic, until now.  But no, he was all business….did his “nice, high insemination” and then off he went. 

And today, 2 years later, I’ve got myself a little Sweetness.  She and I have both been sick the last few days and yesterday I was out of patience.  But today at 9:30, right when I had been sitting in that waiting room struggling 2 years ago, when she signed “more book” for the thousandth time, I didn’t try to hide it under the couch cushions, instead I kissed her on the head, gave her an extra snuggle, said a prayer of thanks, and read to her through my tears.

So what is today?  I think labeling (or even remembering) days like this is something exclusive to the IF community.  I know other people who remember the day they found out they were pregnant and while I do remember that, for some reason this is more meaningful to me.  Is it her conception day?  I mean, technically in this case, yes.  But that sounds weird to me…and wouldn’t necessarily work for those who did IVF.  What do you call your days like this??

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December 23, 2009. Uncategorized.

5 Comments

  1. HereWeGoAJen replied:

    Creation day. 🙂 The day where she became who she is.

  2. Michell replied:

    Beautiful post. I’d call it a great. Might be harder for fertiles though to think “yeah, this was the day I was bonking and you came to be.”

  3. Amanda replied:

    This brought tears to my eyes. So beautiful.

    I agree with Jen…it’s her “Creation Day”! Happy Creation Day Sweetness!

  4. A'Dell replied:

    I remember the post from that day – all those freaking kids in that room!

    I don’t necessarily mark my days with anything, but I do notice them. I tend to look back and think that the pain, the incredible pain, that I was feeling at that time was worth it. I look at Claire and I think it was worth it. I don’t want a baby from any other cycle. I want THIS baby from THAT cycle.

    And then, when things go to shit again (as they tend to in life) I remember that maybe I’m just waiting for something better later on.

    Infertility at least taught me that waiting can bring good things. Eventually. 🙂

  5. danielle replied:

    I can relate to you on so many levels….infertility, “creation day”, our babies are only weeks apart, my son had torticollis, the “hope”…it brings me comfort reading your blog. Here’s to loving our babies and remembering each and every day that brought them to us.

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