I guess relaxing does work

No, not for me.  I highly doubt I’ll be posting an un-assisted BFP anytime soon…or ever.

You might remember this email exchange I had a few weeks ago.  Got another one today.  And you guessed it, she’s 6 weeks pregnant.  She wanted to let me know first (how sweet, right).  And she said I was right, she just needed to remember that it was all supposed to be fun.  Well that’s the path I’ve been taking the last couple of months and while it has been fun, it hasn’t been particularly fruitful, shall we say.  It just sucks that over the last 6 years, she has spent 5 months trying to get pregnant…and now has 4 pregnancies to show for it.  Me…we got lucky on our 30th (yes THIRTIETH) cycle.  I guess you could count the chemical…and then it only took me 28.  I know I shouldn’t compare but it’s so freaking hard not to sometimes. 

Everything I’ve been thinking lately is summed up perfectly in the last few lines of Infertility Just Sucks post.   Everything she wrote about all the firsts potentially also being the lasts.  Wow…it’s something I try not to even let myself think about, but it’s always there.  Why is my entire basement now filled with bouncy seats, exercausers, jumperoos, and all the other crap?  Maybe I should just take my own advice, open a bottle of wine, and have some fun.  I’ll let you all know how that goes…

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February 3, 2010. Tags: . Uncategorized.

4 Comments

  1. Heather replied:

    Sounds like my sister. When she wanted to try for number two she got off birth control part way through a cycle – and got pregnant that same cycle…

    I’m so sorry. It ISN’T fair. I know I sound like a two year old having a tantrum and I’m ok with that. I feel like that.

  2. LJ replied:

    Ugh. Clearly you are not relaxed enough…

  3. HereWeGoAJen replied:

    Argh. And I was so excited to click on this post. It is just so unfair.

    I am obsessively hoarding all of Elizabeth’s baby stuff. But I hate that there is an “if” instead of a “when” before the “we get to use it all again.”

  4. peesticksandstones replied:

    I wonder about ‘will there ever be another?’ waaay more than I’d like to admit. Does it ever get easier to pack away each box of ‘maybe again someday’ baby clothes/gear? It surprises me how emotional it makes me.

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