I know I said I was going to move forward but I wanted to get out why I disappeared for so long.
I became really hesitant to continue blogging after a what I thought to be a private conversation got put up on someone’s blog and I was NOT portrayed in a good light. Not only were snippets of the conversation were taken out of context but she said things in the blog that she certainly did not say to my face. The snippets did make for good sound bites, I’ll give her that. And if I only had said those phrases then maybe about half of what she said about me could be true. But not only was that not the whole story, it wasn’t her story. Partly I think it was done because we were discussing a hot, controversial topic among new moms. Her blogging it wasn’t even the worst part though…the comments. Holy shit the comments. Depending on my mood they made me laugh hysterically or cry hysterically.
At times I felt ridiculous for even caring, as the whole thing really is straight out of junior high. (yes, it was called junior high back in my day, there was no middle school). But I decided it doesn’t matter how old you are, a betrayal still hurts. Being attacked and gossiped about by people who don’t know you still hurts. Reading something about yourself whether it be on a blog or on the locker room wall still hurts. We’ve all still got a 13 year old in us somewhere.
Having seen the dark underbelly of the internet really made me question the medium. I’ve come to the conclusion that blogging is a wonderful way to get support, make connections, find like minded people, and even learn a thing or two. And all I can control is my actions. And I’m going to make sure that I’m a better blogger. I don’t mean blogging more often, although I hope to do that, but I guess blogging more mindfully. There’s an awful lot of drivel out there and I want to make sure I’m not adding to it. Doesn’t mean I still won’t vent about stupid people. But I won’t compare them to child molesters or suggest that someone call protective services as he or she is unfit to parent. I’ll just call them stupid..