If you want to feel better about your day
In case you were wondering why I was so fried yesterday…
Baby woke up crying right at 6, after me getting a shitty night sleep with S. This might not sound like a big deal but she ALWAYS wakes up happy and adorable. If she wakes up crying it is usually because she isn’t really ready to be up and is going to be miserable until she can go back to sleep. And that is what she was. Miserable.
I put the two of them in front of the TV so I could shower before the painters got there. (As an aside, Hubs thought it was crazy that I wouldn’t shower with strange men in the house. Ummm….no, I try not to get naked with random people around). This meant putting the baby in a containment device. To a 16 month old this is the ultimate indignity.
As we’re coming downstairs post shower, the painters get here. First word out of his mouth is that he couldn’t find the crown moulding we wanted and he wanted me to come with him to home depot. This was 8:05 in the morning and I had 2 kids who needed breakfast, one who had to get to school, and another that absolutely could not under any circumstances miss her morning nap. (That makes me sound like I have 4 kids but I think you all get it). There was no way I was loading them in the car and taking off for home depot. He was not happy with me but whatevs.
S carpooled to school (while I generally hate minivans with their oh so superior sliding doors that park to close to me, I do love friends who drive one AND have an extra car seat in them) and I got A down for a nap. Around 11 we are ready to take off for home depot. I open the mudroom door to the garage and a bird squawks and flies right out of the garage. I of course shriek like a lunatic. Even the baby was laughing at me. After the requisite jumping and freaking out I walk around the car to put her in the car seat. A SECOND BIRD flies out, this time getting stuck between the top of the garage door and the ceiling. I literally climbed on top of the baby in the car seat. I hate birds. It was terrifying. And I of course think it is all Hubs fault because he is out of town.
There was nothing special about the rest of the day unless you count the meltdown to end all meltdowns because I wouldn’t let the baby drink queso at lunch (she is such a dipper it’s crazy. Her quesadilla was coated in queso) until I remembered that I had to take out the trash because husband wasn’t home. I waited until the painters all left (7:20!!) and bring S outside with me to do it all. What flies right in front of me and into a tree?? BATS! That’s right, bats. I get that they eat bugs and are good for the ecosystem and all that shit and I’m fine with them existing; they just need to keep their wing flapping battiness away from me! After calming down and taking out both the trash and recycling, I go to move the car back into the garage. I will forever be the coolest mom on the planet because I let S sit in the passenger seat which she thought was the shit until I bounced slightly over the curb and she fell. No longer coolest mom, am now the worst. Guess that’s why they have car seats. I’m pulling into the garage while the drama queen is whimpering “how could the car do that to me? Did YOU do that to me mommy?” and what do I do? Hit the fucking house! I”ve bumped the wall with my tires before but this was actual car to house. Again, this is all Hubs fault because he is out of town. I’m sure he was having an amazing bird and bat free time at a conference at the Newark Airport.
I then did what any mother would do after driving her daughter without a car seat, tossing her from the seat, and hitting the house would do. I went inside, put on Beauty and the Beast and poured myself the biggest freaking glass of wine.
Hope you all got some Schadenfreude out of this 😉
Today hasn’t been that much better. The lesson learned here is to never schedule home improvements when your partner isn’t around.