Turns out I’m not the 0.001% that has a false negative on a pee stick! But they did say I could continue on the Pr.ometrium for a day so I’ll be able to go away. I completely agree with those of you who said that IF has taken so much away from us. I can not let it take this too. My aunt has been like a second mother to me. At times growing up I was closer to her than to my own mom. There is NO way I could not be there to celebrate her 60th birthday with her.
Now while I did say I was Ok..well…that’s a lie. So please indulge me in my few minutes of wallowing, whining, and tears. And recognize that there have been several glasses of wine involved tonight. Here is why I needed this cycle to work. In June 2006 at my annual exam, my gyno looked over my charts and told me to give it 6 more months. She said if I wasn’t pregnant at Thanksgiving, to call and make an appointment. Every single day in December I put off making that phone call. As much as I knew there was a problem…and I wanted to fix it….I just couldn’t say it out loud, or admit it. Finally, right before Christmas, AF showed up again. The very next day, I got up the strength to call and make my appointment. The only way I did was by telling myself over and over again that Christmas 06 was going to be the last Christmas I spent child-less. I promised myself that I would at least be pregnant by Christmas 07. And I’m not. And I am not ok with that.
Ok, I’ve cried my tears and will move on, I just had to get that out. It sucks to break a promise, especially one you made to yourself. And on a lighter note, looking at a calendar, IUI #2 just might fall on Christmas Eve…meaning there’s still a chance I could be pregnant for Christmas 07…I just wouldn’t know it at the time 😉
thanks for all the hugs…I love them!!
First response was negative this morning. Still had to go in for the beta. I checked with my nurse yesterday and since I now have a history of chemicals, they want to make sure my levels are zero.
Surprisingly ok, just ok, but as Mr H put it this morning, OK is pretty damn good right now. I’m sure it’ll hit me a bit more later, like when the next round of meds arrives!
I’m going to see if I can stay on the pro.metrium for just 2 more days. We’re supposed to go down to FL for my Aunt’s 60th birthday this weekend. She’s my god mother and has been fighting breast cancer for the last 5 years. When we bought our tickets down, we made sure they were refundable in case this cycle was a bust, knowing that I’d probably have CD3 b/w and u/s that weekend. Mr H and I talked about it last night and at this point, we’ve waited 2.5 years, what is 2 more days. I’d much rather spend the weekend surrounded by my family. And I don’t want IF to take that away from me too. We’re going to stay with my cousin, she and I are just 16 months apart and have always been super close. Some of her TLC is exactly what I need right now. So I’m thinking of taking my dose tonight and tomorrow morning. That should be enough for AF to stay away until Saturday.