I know I said I was going to move forward but I wanted to get out why I disappeared for so long.

I became really hesitant to continue blogging after a what I thought to be a private conversation got put up on someone’s blog and I was NOT portrayed in a good light.  Not only were snippets of the conversation were taken out of context but she said things in the blog that she certainly did not say to my face.   The snippets did make for good sound bites, I’ll give her that.  And if I only had said those phrases then maybe about half of what she said about me could be true.  But not only was that not the whole story, it wasn’t her story.  Partly I think it was done because we were discussing a hot, controversial topic among new moms.  Her blogging it wasn’t even the worst part though…the comments.  Holy shit the comments.   Depending on my mood they made me laugh hysterically or cry hysterically. 

At times I felt ridiculous for even caring, as the whole thing really is straight out of junior high.  (yes, it was called junior high back in my day, there was no middle school).  But I decided it doesn’t matter how old you are, a betrayal still hurts.  Being attacked and gossiped about by people who don’t know you still hurts.  Reading something about yourself whether it be on a blog or on the locker room wall still hurts.  We’ve all still got a 13 year old in us somewhere.

Having seen the dark underbelly of the internet really made me question the medium.  I’ve come to the conclusion that blogging is a wonderful way to get support, make connections, find like minded people, and even learn a thing or two.  And all I can control is my actions.  And I’m going to make sure that I’m a better blogger.  I don’t mean blogging more often, although I hope to do that, but I guess blogging more mindfully.  There’s an awful lot of drivel out there and I want to make sure I’m not adding to it.  Doesn’t mean I still won’t vent about stupid people.  But I won’t compare them to child molesters or suggest that someone call protective services as he or she is unfit to parent.  I’ll just call them stupid..

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August 1, 2011. ramblings, support. 5 comments.

Blogger Flame of Fortitude

Wow!! That is just about all I can say in response to Jenna’s post yesterday. Unfortunately I do not have the same way with words she does. I was literally left speechless. And since she summed it all up so well, I’m just going to quote her: “You are receiving this honor because you have embodied perseverance in the face of difficulty and shared the journey of your experiences with others proving that a single voice can both be a light of support and a source or humor for those in the midst of their struggle. You are acknowledged here today for allowing others to share in your personal story and providing camaraderie through the power of your words.”

And all I can come up with is…right back at ya!!

Seriously though, I do feel blessed to have stumbled upon this amazing and supportive group of women. What started out as a way for me to journal my feelings has changed into my lifeline at times. I never even thought anyone else would even read this. I am not exaggerating in the least that it was you ladies (and Mr H of course) that got me through that chemical pregnancy last week. And I hope that I am someday able to repay you the favor (but wait…not that I hope you go through a loss….well…you get it, right??) I never thought I’d meet people willing to IM or email me to see how things are going, or to even regularly check the blog. So thanks to each and every one of you.

And while I do want to pass the torch, it seems I am a little late in the game. I think everyone on my blogroll or who comments already has the flame. If for some reason I’m missing someone, please consider to torch passed (and just blame it on the Cl.omid)

November 13, 2007. support. 2 comments.